i promised her a palanca letter, i dont think it will mean anything to her. but i hope it will..

i made this like last week in a sheet of paper. never had the chance to give it to her.

so i posted it here..

it's your retreat. a retreat is like a sanctuary you go to so that you could fix and understand better your relationship with god. it has been 4 years when i was still in la salle greenhills  since i had my retreat and i learned a lot from that experience. and realized the relationship god and i share. im sure that god is in your heart and i want you to be happy that youre gonna take this retreat. i hope you learn a lot of things and be good in doing it. for me.. its good that youre gonna have your retreat so we could fix our relationship spiritually maybe god's giving us this chapter because he wants us to be positive and just keep praying. i know ive been not praying lately because the problem gets me. maybe that's why i mess up things. so now when everything's lost in the midst im just doing the only thing i could do and the thing that i should have done a long long time ago. ask god for answers, signs and forgiveness. im proud of you in everything you do. and the things that you have done. being one of the best in your batch is one accomplishment that you should be proud of even when you have a sucky boyfriend like me who nags you. :) this is the time you should reconcile with god. ask about us.. or anything that you want to know. cause when i was in the retreat that's what i was doing. maybe for you it's the same. and don't forget to appreciate every thing thats happening to you, little or huge.. expected or unexpected. the things that you do and the experiences in your life makes you who you are right now. maybe it's time to take a step and be a little more mature:) (im not saying youre not mature lol.) in dealing things and in problems. always have faith in god. in whatever you do. he's the best man to tell you what is right and what is wrong. don't be afraid to take challenges and just be who you are. like i told you... youre like a wall, rough and crooked on the edges but when you look closely. perfect. i miss you. can't wait for you to go home.

                                                                                   P.S.                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                  do i have to tell you that i love you?

                                                        i love you forever. you know that already.

                                                                                                        PAX

im so worried about it. i dont know what im supposed to do!

anyway.. im like so hooked at watching supernatural it rocks. ahahaha parang ghostbusters but way cooler! anyway... you guys should check it out. im not really in a good mood right now because of the way things are going. but i know she loves me. well... i know that she knows that i feel the same way for her. fuck anyway it's skate day tom in la vista!!! if anyone's interested you could just i.m. me or something you know where to trace me brother! woohoo.. and yeah selling GOLDEN BREED stuff... the pics are on the way i just dont know how to fix my cam. anyway PEACE.

i just can't explain it.

ok i got my ladera board like last week and i was really trying to break in the wheels yesterday at the fort. i met first with trixia at glorietta like at 3pm and then marvin went to glorietta at like 5pm then introduced her to my future mother in-law:) (trixia's mom) and then we bounced.. hit the asphalts of the fort. it was like living the american dreamz dreams with a Z! ahahaha cause we were just skating and skating then we ate at mcdonalds at the forbes town center then we went straight to forbes mckinley hill bombed the whole road then went back to fort. it was a really tiring and fun they!!! and lucky us.. we met a couple of celebs ahaha raimund marasigan of sandwich skated with us and mac mac cardona saw us .. ahahaha and yeah the team manila boys were there too!!! hey boys we'll go to your studio sometime!!! give us a shirt please?!! ahahah

BOUNCE.

i dont know whats happening to us!!! fuck.

please do tell her i love her.

that's all im asking cause we don't talk much and if we talk we fight. i miss being happy with her. i miss the old days when we used to tease each other and tell our feelings in a secretive way... when we were still shy about the way we felt. she's the only who makes me feel this way. and i mean that in good way cause she's the only one who could make me happy. she's the most beautiful girl that i met. inside and out. she's like a structure when you look at it in a distance you'll see that the walls our rough but when you look very close and you'll realize that it's smooth and amazingly beautiful. all i want is for her to be happy and if she's happy like this and i couldn't stop her because if i do i'll just take her happiness away from her and i don't want that. she's the one thing i could never live without. maybe im being too serious in this relationship and i expect too much from her and i put all my time with her that's why we forget to be happy with the little things that make life magical. it's time to be more mature when handling our relationship. and just let things flow. and just let her be. if she wants this then let it be.

i love her so much that i would do anything.

ahahaha.. im in trixia's house today ahahaha since yesterday pa actually la kasi akong ride pauwi so her mom and us decided that i should sleep nalang at her house ahaha sarap. always happy when im with her kahit na we fight most of the time!! ahahaha anyway gotta go.. got to make lambing pa eh ;)

BOUNCE!!!

i went skating last night it was the bomb brother!!! so i started my skating fiasco in the dasma gate in pasong tamo then skated inside thru the good roads of palm avenue and banyan..then went out the villa and went inside forbes park south in park road where im going to meet my buddies in no. 2 park road forbes park south. cool roads its just mellow so you dont need to perspire a lot because youre fucking nervous pero it was a killer...ahahaha looking forward bringing my girlfriend there so that SHE COULD LEARN BY HERSELF!!! ahahaha mwah mwah. anyway guys reading this... get a board and skate on tues EARTH DAY SKATE!!! say no to cars for that day and just fucking skate brother!!! see you there when: TUESDAY AFTERNOON ONWARDS WHERE: UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES WHY: TO SAVE OUR EARTH! HOW: BY SKATING!!!

i love you trixia!!! :D

it's 4:17am according to my phone. i can't sleep. im in so much pain right now. can't stop crying. trixia and i fought again. a really really big fight. it sucks. of course it's my fault im so insensitive when it comes to our relationship that's why trixia gets pissed everytime..well, im so in the mood to skate downhill so that i would die. (downhill in forbes park..in pili st. is the death road for me :-I) i wanna skate there cause i wanna be in physical pain it's much better than emotional pain. trixia is my cure. im so inferior at myself that's why trixia's pissed. i say a lot of bad things about myself. she's mad and im hurting her. yes honey, im lazy. im not stupid. im so lazy that i do stupid stuff. i take every thing that ive said back and  i really can't sleep without you. i miss you badly i really can't wait to see you on wednesday!!! honey.. dont be mad i didnt mean what i was saying. i just remembered what happened with my mom because of our conversation.. i dont wanna lose you. i know we fight EVERYDAY! and im sorry. so so sorry. please dont be mad my trixia. i love you so much.. and it's my fault so please forgive me!!! i love you. baby sorry na. i hope you forgive me. mwah mwah mwah mwah. i love you.